just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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