He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
