$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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