If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
