I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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