Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i barfeds in our rink
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
