What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
