dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
