Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
