I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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