Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
