Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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