omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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