i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
