"it" just moved
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
