is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
