She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize