I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
