When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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