So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
