i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
