i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
