So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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