how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
