Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
