I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
