Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
