How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
