The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
