I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
