All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize