Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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