ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
