I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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