he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This baby is an asshole
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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