I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
