he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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