He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
