she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
