I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
