I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
