I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
