Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
