I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
