apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize