i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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