oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
