Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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