you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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