I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
