but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
