I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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