My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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