We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
