is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
