We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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