I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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