he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize