so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize