Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
