I wish i was in the wii world.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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