Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it š
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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