I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
