he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
