i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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