i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
