Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
