i permit you to call me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
