i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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