I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
