I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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