gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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